As parents, it can be concerning to witness our children struggling with anxiety. Whether it’s a younger child having constant tantrums or a teenager withdrawing from social activities, these behaviours can be unsettling. However, it is important to remember that anxiety is a natural and ubiquitous part of human experience, especially during the formative years of childhood and adolescence.
In fact, anxiety can be understood as a protective mechanism – a legacy from our ancestors who needed to constantly be on the lookout for potential dangers that might be lurking around the horizon. Although our modern lives do not require the same levels of vigilance, our minds still have this tendency to imagine the worst-case scenarios and prepare our bodies to respond.
These responses may manifest themselves differently in different age groups and individuals. For younger kids, it manifests as nightmares, tantrums, sleeping problems, frequent crying, hiding behaviours, unexplained physical ailments or a general feeling of unease. Teenagers on the other hand, may exhibit persistent worries about routine matters, social withdrawal, irritability or lashing out, academic struggles, refusal to attend school, sleep issues, substance abuse, and a constant need for reassurance.
No matter the specific symptoms, remember that your child’s anxiety is simply their brain’s way of saying, “I’m not feeling 100% safe. I’m a little worried about this, so let’s figure out how to handle it together.” With patience, empathy, and the right support, you can help your child develop a healthy relationship with this natural companion.
Encourage them to talk about their feelings, validate their experiences, and work together to build coping strategies that are tailored to their needs. There is no one size fits all coping strategies, when it comes to this. Be patient, it takes trial and error for both you and your child to determine what works and doesn’t work for them. In therapy, I often turn this strenuous process of trial and effort into a fun experiment, where we collect data to make our own conclusions. Remember, anxiety can be an ally in the journey of growth and self-discovery when approached with understanding and care.
As parents and therapists, our role is not to eliminate anxiety altogether, it’s impossible even if we tried. It is rather to guide children in navigating its ups and downs. With the right support, they can learn to turn this powerful emotion into a source of motivation, resilience, and personal growth.